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Couch - Lindsey M Henke, Twin Cities therapist

Latest from the Blog

a comfy chair with plants - Should I See a Therapist After My Pregnancy Loss?

Ask the Motherhood Therapist: Should I See a Therapist after my Pregnancy Loss?

Pregnant woman holding belly - what I want you to know about pregnancy after loss

What I Want You to Know about Pregnancy After Loss

Heartache - "I will not hide my grief, as I did not hide my love."

The Heartaches of Motherhood: I will not hide my grief, as I did not hide my love

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Hard Parts of Motherhood
Heartaches of Motherhood
Expecting After the Heartaches of Motherhood

The Motherhood Therapist

Your motherhood story matters.

Your pregnancy loss is not your fault. . . . #preg

Your pregnancy loss is not your fault.
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#pregnancyloss #babyloss #infantloss #stillbirth #childloss #miscarriage #ectopicpregnancy #SIDS #TFMR #griefandloss #stillbornstillloved #losssupport #bereavedmother #lossmom #supportlossmoms #supportbereavedparents

One of the questions I get asked frequently is, ho

One of the questions I get asked frequently is, how do you tell fellow loss mom friends that you're expecting again? You've relied on these friends after your loss, but this part is hard and tricky. This news is probably best given via text message so they can process it.

A sample script:

"I have something to tell you."

"I'm pregnant."

"I know this is probably hard for you to hear. That's why I'm texting you this instead of having the conversation in person because I want to give you the space to process this news. This is how I think I would have wanted to have been told if the situations were reversed. I love you. I don't need a response right away. Take your time."
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#pregnancyafterloss #expectingafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #pregnancyafterstillbirth #pregnancyafterTFMR #pregnancyafterinfantloss #pregnancyafterbabyloss #rainbowbaby #rainbowpregnancy #griefsupport #supportmoms #lifeafterloss #griefandloss #hopeafterloss #hopeoverfear #babyloss

On pregnancy after loss: I held my breath every ti

On pregnancy after loss: I held my breath every time I went to the bathroom, afraid when pulling down my pants I would find a stain of red on the lining of my underwear or drops of blood that would turn the toilet bowl water a crimson color. It was impossible to believe my body would be able to protect life during pregnancy that followed a loss.
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#pregnancyafterloss #expectingafterloss #parentingafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #pregnancyafterstillbirth #pregnancyafterTFMR #pregnancyafterinfantloss #pregnancyafterbabyloss #rainbowbaby #rainbowpregnancy #griefsupport #supportmoms #lifeafterloss #griefandloss #hopeafterloss #hopeoverfear #babyloss

A baby born after a loss will never replace a baby

A baby born after a loss will never replace a baby who died.
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#parentingafterloss #pregnancyafterloss #pregnancyloss #infantloss #TFMR #SIDS #miscarriage #stillbirth #childloss #notareplacement #mythvsfact #rainbowbaby #lifeafterloss #lossofsibling #stillbornstillloved #rememberourbabies #foreverinourhearts

You have permission to set boundaries in your grie

You have permission to set boundaries in your grief after losing your baby. It’s necessary and okay to let others know your limits in your grief.

Boundaries in grieving your baby might look like:
💗 RSVPing ‘No’ to baby showers
💗 Turning down invitations to hold other people’s newborns
💗 Setting aside time in your schedule to grieve your baby that died
💗 Leaving conversations around other people’s pregnancies
💗 Telling people it’s personal and that you don’t want to be asked about your reproductive journey of when you might try again.
💗 Taking time off from work
💗 Asking for help

What boundaries did you set in your grief?
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#griefandloss #settingboundaries #griefislove #amotherslove #amothersgrief #thisismotherhood #pregnancyloss #babyloss #infantloss #stillbirth #childloss #miscarriage #SIDS #TFMR #bereavedmother #lossmom #lifeafterloss #parentingafterloss #ttcafterloss #fertilityjourney

“How many children do you have?” A client aske

“How many children do you have?” A client asked in session soon after my pregnancy loss.

“Is this your first?” The clerk at Target asked when I was seven months pregnant after my daughter’s stillbirth.

Interactions like those are why bereaved parents look like deer in headlights when asked everyday simple inquiries, because they have to decide in a matter of milliseconds how to answer the hard questions that are so easy for others.

It’s not until you’ve suffered a loss, a loss of a baby, the inability to conceive a baby, or the death of a child that you see the slipperiness in small talk. The checkout line, living children’s daycare drop off, and banter with business clients all have the potential of being the scene of the next wreck.

It was just a matter of time before the train derailed with an innocent question of, “When are you going to have babies?” or “Are you going to give little Suzy a sister?”

This is why bereaved parents continue to incessantly question our own parenthood.

Pro Tip: Pregnancies are personal, and so are parenthood journeys. They really shouldn’t be mentioned in making superficial small talk.
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#pregnancyloss #stillbirth #TFMR #miscarriage #infantloss #childloss #babyloss #supportafterpregnancyloss #supportmoms #supportlossmoms #pregnancyafterloss #expectingafterloss #parentingafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #pregnancyafterstillbirth #pregnancyafterTFMR #pregnancyafterinfantloss #pregnancyafterbabyloss #rainbowbaby #rainbowpregnancy #griefsupport #supportmoms #lifeafterloss #griefandloss #hopeafterloss #hopeoverfear #babyloss

We’re waiting… . . . #parenthoodinAmerica #mot

We’re waiting…
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#parenthoodinAmerica #motherhood #supportmoms #parenting #supportparents #postpartumsupport #pregnancyloss #infantloss #miscarriage #stillbirth #babyloss #parentingafterloss #paidparentalleave #bereavementleave #affordablehealthcare #fertilitycoverage #safeschools #affordablehousing #foodinsecurity

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