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Couch - Lindsey M Henke, Twin Cities therapist

Latest from the Blog

a comfy chair with plants - Should I See a Therapist After My Pregnancy Loss?

Ask the Motherhood Therapist: Should I See a Therapist after my Pregnancy Loss?

Pregnant woman holding belly - what I want you to know about pregnancy after loss

What I Want You to Know about Pregnancy After Loss

Heartache - "I will not hide my grief, as I did not hide my love."

The Heartaches of Motherhood: I will not hide my grief, as I did not hide my love

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Hard Parts of Motherhood
Heartaches of Motherhood
Expecting After the Heartaches of Motherhood

The Motherhood Therapist

Your motherhood story matters.

Yes, life gets broken into before and after once y

Yes, life gets broken into before and after once you've experienced loss.
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#griefandloss #griefislove #amotherslove #amothersgrief #thisismotherhood #losssupport #pregnancyloss #babyloss #infantloss #stillbirth #childloss #miscarriage #SIDS #TFMR #bereavedmother #bereavedparent #lossmom #lossparents #lifeafterloss #parentingafterloss

It's #PerfectlyNormalAfterPregnancyLoss to sleep w

It's #PerfectlyNormalAfterPregnancyLoss to sleep with a teddy bear that was meant for your baby that died (and might contain your baby's urn).

Did you have a special teddy bear of stuffed animal that you slept with after your loss?
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#pregnancyloss #afterpregnancyloss #griefandloss #losssupport #babyloss #miscarriage #ectopicpregnancy #infantloss #stillbirth #childloss #TFMR #bereavedmother #lossparents #bereavedparents #lossmom #lifeafterloss #parentingafterloss #supportlossmoms #supportbereavedparents

After ten years of working with bereaved parents a

After ten years of working with bereaved parents and being a bereaved parent myself, here is what we want you to know:

💕 Please ask about my baby that died. I want you to. Talking about the experience of loss can be hard, but talking about my baby feels good.
💕 Dads and partners grieve too.
💕 That if you do go on to have another baby, that baby is not a replacement.
💕 Telling me to move on or get over it, makes it so much worse.
💕 Saying something about my loss is so much better than ignoring it all together.
💕 It’s an isolating and lonely experience. I never felt more alone.
💕 Time doesn’t heal. Grief continues as time goes on, and you realize more of what you are missing as your other children grow and your baby that died doesn’t get to.
💕 Please don’t stop reaching out. Even when I seem "better," I still need others to check in.
💕 Saying my baby’s name won’t make me sadder, it actually helps me feel seen.
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#bereavedparents #bereavedmother #bereavedfather #lossparent #babyloss #lossmom #lossdad #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #parentingafterloss #griefandloss #griefislove #amotherslove #amothersgrief #losssupport #pregnancyloss #babyloss #infantloss #stillbirth #childloss #miscarriage #SIDS #TFMR #lifeafterloss

On Pregnancy After Loss: During my pregnancy afte

On Pregnancy After Loss:

During my pregnancy after loss, even with a blooming belly beginning to bulge out of my tucked-in blouses, I continued to believe that death could be the only outcome of birth and refused to buy maternity attire. While shopping at Target, I avoided the baby aisle and maternity section completely, and I never considered wearing the old pregnancy clothes I had boxed away in the back of my closet. For fear that putting on a maternity shirt I once wore while wide with a failed pregnancy would be tempting another sad ending.

Can you relate?
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#pregnancyafterloss #PALAwareness #expectingafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #pregnancyafterstillbirth #pregnancyafterTFMR #pregnancyafterinfantloss #pregnancyafterbabyloss #pregnancyafterchildloss #rainbowbaby #rainbowpregnancy #perinatalmentalhealth #mentalhealth #griefsupport #supportmoms #lifeafterloss #griefandloss #hopeafterloss #hopeoverfear #babyloss #parentingafterloss

It's #PerfectlyNormalAfterPregnancyLoss to avoid s

It's #PerfectlyNormalAfterPregnancyLoss to avoid social media on Rainbow Baby Day. Take care of your hearts, friends.
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#pregnancyloss #RainbowBabyDay #NationalRainbowBabyDay #stillbirth #miscarriage #TFMR #infantloss #childloss #bereavedmother #bereavedparent #lossmom #lossparent #babyloss #ttcafterloss #lifeafterloss

What Pregnant After Loss (PAL) Parents Want Their

What Pregnant After Loss (PAL) Parents Want Their Providers to Know Listed in order of importance to PAL parents (based on @pregnancyafterlosssupport's 2019 survey of 344 participants):

1. Understand that being pregnant after a loss is a unique emotional experience.
2. Remember loss parents’ need for reassurance during pregnancy after loss.
3. Help reduce anxiety by providing concrete medical information about their pregnancy and by normalizing emotions common during pregnancy after loss.
4. Educate yourself and loss parents on emerging resources for emotional support during pregnancy after loss.
5. Know the risk of mental health disorders during pregnancy and early parenting of this new baby and educate parents about these risks while also anticipating that anxiety will occur during these periods.
6. Realize one baby does not replace the other.
7. Understand the relationship between a loss parent and their baby is complex and that detachment during pregnancy after loss and after birth can be normal for the pregnant after loss parent (this often fades with time).
8. Acknowledge both the parent’s grief and their fears during their subsequent pregnancy.
9. Use the child who died’s name in conversations if this is a preference of parents.

What would you add? Do you disagree with any?
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#RainbowBabyWeek #NationalRainbowBabyDay #RainbowBabyDay #pregnancyafterloss #PALAwareness #expectingafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #pregnancyafterstillbirth #pregnancyafterTFMR #pregnancyafterinfantloss #pregnancyafterbabyloss #pregnancyafterchildloss #rainbowbaby #rainbowpregnancy #perinatalmentalhealth #mentalhealth #griefsupport #supportmoms #lifeafterloss #griefandloss #hopeafterloss #hopeoverfear #babyloss #parentingafterloss

On Baby Loss & Its Instagram Community: My first

On Baby Loss & Its Instagram Community:

My first photo I posted to Instagram after my daughter’s stillbirth, was of me holding a white sign with black lettering that read, “Grieving Mom.” I don’t think Instagram intended the app to be used for sharing sad mom photos with microblogs about bereavement, but this was how we baby bereaved met.

In between clients at work or while lying in the dark next to Nick as he slumbered, I spent hours in early grief scrolling through bereaved mom memes and photos on my phone. Instagram became the place where I found my baby loss buddies.

We hearted each other’s snapshots of our children gone too soon and commented back and forth on each other's photos that depicted life in Baby Loss Land. Which was kind of like Candy Land but for sad parents with dead babies. Instead of roads paved with gumdrops and lollipops, we walked barefoot on shards of glass made out of our broken dreams. But we did so together, through the invisible wifi waves that connected us across the globe and created our community.

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