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Couch - Lindsey M Henke, Twin Cities therapist

Latest from the Blog

a comfy chair with plants - Should I See a Therapist After My Pregnancy Loss?

Ask the Motherhood Therapist: Should I See a Therapist after my Pregnancy Loss?

Pregnant woman holding belly - what I want you to know about pregnancy after loss

What I Want You to Know about Pregnancy After Loss

Heartache - "I will not hide my grief, as I did not hide my love."

The Heartaches of Motherhood: I will not hide my grief, as I did not hide my love

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Hard Parts of Motherhood
Heartaches of Motherhood
Expecting After the Heartaches of Motherhood

The Motherhood Therapist

Your motherhood story matters.

It is #PerfectlyNormalAfterPregnancyLoss to be ang

It is #PerfectlyNormalAfterPregnancyLoss to be angry with your body for losing your baby.

Did you feel this way after your loss?
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#pregnancyloss #afterpregnancyloss #griefandloss #losssupport #babyloss #infantloss #stillbirth #childloss #miscarriage #TFMR #ectopicpregnancy #bereavedmother #lossmom #postpartum #postpartumafterloss #lifeafterloss #parentingafterloss #supportlossmoms #supportbereavedparents

“Why aren’t you excited/happy/overjoyed to be

“Why aren’t you excited/happy/overjoyed to be pregnant again?” People will ask the pregnant after loss parent.

But…

It’s okay to be indifferent during your pregnancy after a loss.
It’s okay to not be happy during your pregnancy after a loss.
It’s okay to not be excited during your pregnancy after a loss.

Because most of the time pregnancy after loss feels like being on a tipped-over scale where the grief and fear outweigh the joy.

This is typical during PAL. It will eventually get better. And you don’t have to judge yourself if this is how you feel right now. It makes sense that you would feel this way based on what you have been through.

So next time someone asks, “Why aren’t you excited/happy/overjoyed to be pregnant again?”

You can reply, “Because the grief over my loss and the fear about this baby’s future right now outweigh the joy, and that’s normal during pregnancy after a loss.”
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#pregnancyafterloss #PALAwareness #PALAwarenessMonth #emotionalcushioning #expectingafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #pregnancyafterstillbirth #pregnancyafterTFMR #pregnancyafterinfantloss #pregnancyafterbabyloss #pregnancyafterchildloss #rainbowbaby #rainbowpregnancy #griefsupport #supportmoms #lifeafterloss #griefandloss #hopeafterloss #hopeoverfear #babyloss

Do you talk to your baby? Feel like you get messa

Do you talk to your baby?

Feel like you get messages from them through a symbol?

Do you write them letters?

Maybe you think about them all the time?

FYI - YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!

THIS IS NORMAL.

And there is even a name for it - Continuing Bonds Theory.

In 1996 grief researchers suggested a paradigm shift from the “get over grief” narrative, and instead, moving towards a model that normalizes the bereaved’s need to continue their relationship and bond with their loved one that died.

You see, remaining connected can bring the bereaved mother comfort, because grief, like love, is ongoing. It doesn’t die when your baby does. A mother’s love lives on forever. And continuing a bond with your baby is not only normal, but it can maybe help you through your grief.

So continue your bond with your baby that died, because sadly babies can and do die, but a mother’s love, never. A mother’s love lives on. Always!
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#pregnancyloss #infantloss #childloss #griefandloss #stillbirth #miscarriage #TFMR #SIDS #lifeafterloss #continuingbonds #hopeafterloss #pregnancyafterloss #ttcafterloss #parentingafterloss

Can you relate? Trying to conceive after loss has

Can you relate? Trying to conceive after loss has its own language.

The Alphabet Soup of TTC after Loss:

It was only my first month of TTCing (trying to conceive), but every day for the month of April, I engaged in the alphabet soup ritual of noting my CD (cycle day), inspecting my CM (cervical mucus), and peeing on OPK’s (ovulation predictor kits) trying to find my fertile window which happened to be peaking. In a day or two, post-coital, I would start keeping track of my DPO (days post ovulation) and settle in for the TWW (two-week wait), counting the days on the calendar in my app for an EDD (estimated due date) and crossing my fingers for a BFP (big fat positive) while worrying if I POAS (peed on a stick) I would get a BFN (big fat negative) instead and be visited by AF (aunt flow). This alphabet soup of trying to conceive was familiar to me as Nick and I had attempted for six months to get pregnant before I got a BFP (big fat positive) with Nora. But this time around, it seemed more dense and harder to swallow when doing so after the death of our baby.
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#TTCAfterLoss #tryingtoconceive #tryingtoconceiveafterlsos #griefandloss #pregnancyafterloss #PALAwareness #PregnancyAfterLossAwareness #PregnancyAfterLossAwarenessMOnth #pregnancyloss #babyloss #infantloss #stillbirth #childloss #miscarriage #SIDS #TFMR #bereavedmother #lossmom #postpartum #lifeafterloss #parentingafterloss #hopeafterloss #hopeoverfear

It is #PerfectlyNormalAfterPregnancyLoss to experi

It is #PerfectlyNormalAfterPregnancyLoss to experience both hope and fear during your subsequent pregnancy.

Did you feel this way during your pregnancy after loss?
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#pregnancyafterloss #PALAwareness #PALAwarenessMonth #pregnantafterloss #TTCAfterLoss #tryingtoconceiveafterloss #pregnancyloss #stillbirth #TFMR #babyloss #expectingafterloss #parentingafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #pregnancyafterstillbirth #pregnancyafterTFMR #pregnancyafterbabyloss #rainbowbaby #rainbowpregnancy #griefsupport #supportmoms #lifeafterloss #griefandloss #hopeafterloss #hopeoverfear #babyloss

Pregnant after loss parents can feel significant a

Pregnant after loss parents can feel significant anxiety throughout their pregnancy, always feeling on alert. Here are five ways to calm your nervous system during pregnancy after loss.

1) Calming with breathwork and grounding affirmations
2) Calming with sound
3) Calming with movement
4) Calming with containment
5) Calming with water

➡️ swipe for more details on these tips for calming your nervous system.

Need more tips, tools, and education about the experience of pregnancy after loss? Get a PAL in your pocket by downloading the Pregnancy After Loss App from @pregnancyafterlosssupport. I wrote the week-by-week content and the coping skills to help support you during your pregnancy that follows a loss.
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#pregnancyafterloss #PALAwareness #PALAwarenessMonth #copingstrategies #anxiety #PALApp #pregnancyafterlossapp #PALSApp #pregnancyloss #babyloss #expectingafterloss #parentingafterloss #pregnancyaftermiscarriage #pregnancyafterstillbirth #pregnancyafterTFMR #pregnancyafterbabyloss #rainbowbaby #rainbowpregnancy #griefsupport #supportmoms #lifeafterloss #griefandloss #hopeafterloss #hopeoverfear #babyloss

My first baby died. After a perfect full-term preg

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